Starvation is terrible. You would rather die.
I haven't eaten much in days. It's hard to explain why I can't or don't feel like eating. I don't think it is nausea. It is this feeling in your mouth where you get tired of tasting. Before, I would still be able to eat a small meal. This weekend up until now, just thinking about putting anything in my mouth makes me gag, even a toothbrush and water.
Yesterday, I was able to recover some appetite by eating Cheerios and grapes all day. I was able to eat a full dinner. It's not much, but it's a good idea to eat whatever you can even if it is bad for you or not enough.
Sometimes it's just really hard to start doing anything, like exercise. But when you start, it feels so good. I knew I wasn't eating because my blood sugar was low. In order to raise it, I had to eat which I was having trouble with. Your body always go through such a vicious cycle. I kept thinking to myself, "If only I can coat my stomach lining or just start with glucose".
I woke up this morning feeling horrible. The first thought that came to mind was "I need some glucose". Yes, I know I'm such a nerd for knowing that. I ended up having two pieces of candy to help me drive to work. Then I had some milk tea (made with sweetened condensed milk) and munched on grapes all day. I always end my day with a cup of green tea. OMG! Somehow it had the power to flush out my system. I was eating everything in sight, including my coworker's leftover lunch. Why didn't I think of this sooner!
After work, I went to get my blood test. I was doing so well with all my blood counts recently. When I saw that my hemoglobin plummeted down to 7.9, I was surprised. Everything else dropped too. I asked the nurse if she read it wrong because it was at 9.7 just this past Saturday. It must be the "not eating" or the acupuncture. (I skipped last week's session.)
When I got home, my dad left me a big can of pure glucose. Just what I needed! I did not even know pure glucose existed. I am so happy! One tablespoon provided me with enough energy to start eating everything in sight.
Food is essential for the body. It may not seem very hazardous but it can cause dire consequences like brain damage from lack of energy. When you are having trouble eating, everything is a compromise. Don't just eat salad if you are not up for it. Eat some chips if that is all you can hold down. I promise you you will love yourself.
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